well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
