Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
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does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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