That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
