I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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