Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
