frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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