I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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