why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
