who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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