i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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