just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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