turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
