Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
