he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
