I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize