his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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