We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
