Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
