Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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