Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
