You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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