If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
