Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
