Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
