No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
