bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
