He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
