I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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