When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i came on her dog
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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