dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize