you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
