you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
