On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
ttyl tear gas
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
