please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
