An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
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One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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