i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
