I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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