So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
