Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
there is glitter all over my balls
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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