btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
