You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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