sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
