Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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