Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
