you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
