so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
