I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
