4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
