Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize