I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
