I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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