you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
