he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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