your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
