GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
