I want to have your abortion
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
