wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
