When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
